[Hum}– About He and She

Every wife is a «Mistress» for her husband.
«Miss» for one hour and «stress» for the rest 23 hours!

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There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman.
Before marriage and after marriage.

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My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn’t.

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Husband throwing darts at his wife’s photo and not even a single one hitting the target.
From another room wife called the husband: «Honey, what are you doing?»
Husband: «MISSING YOU».

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Thought for the day.
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to and touched often. But push the wrong button and you’re disconnected.

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Difference between complete and finish.
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is.

• When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.
• And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.
• And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!

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Romantic SMS. She sends the following message:
«My love, if you’re sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re smiling, send me your smile. If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you».

He Replied: «I’m in the toilet. What do I send?».

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There are 3 kinds of men in the world:

1. Some remain single and make wonders happen.
2. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
3. The rest get married and wonder what happened!

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The A B C…
After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly, then said: «You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.».

—She asks: «What does that mean?».

—He said: «Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey».

—She smiled happily and said: «Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?».

—He said: «I’m Just Kidding!».

His eye is still swollen, but it will get better.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,

«Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?»
The other replied: «Yes I am, I married the wrong man».

Courtesy of Carmen O’Dogherty