Six retired Italian Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Guido loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up.

At the end of the game, Giovanni looks around and asks,

—So, who’s gonna’ tell his wife?

They cut the cards. Pasquale picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse.

—Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me!

So, Pasquale goes over to the Guido’s condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?

Pasquale declares:

—Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home.

—Tell him to drop dead!—, yells the wife.

—I’ll go tell him—, says Pasquale.

Courtesy of Fernando Lacoste

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.  At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. 

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ‘Revelation 3:20‘ on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message: ‘Genesis 3:10‘.
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. 

• ‘Revelation 3:20‘ begins: «Behold, I stand at the door and knock». 
• ‘Genesis 3:10‘ reads: «I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked».

Courtesy of Robert Meehan