Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.

I did this, and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said,

—Are you nuts!? You’re almost 70 years old and you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership cardand she said to me,

—For heaven’s sake, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!

I’m in trouble again and don’t know what to do! I signed up for five jumps a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.