—Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully —the divorce Court Judge said—, and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.
—That’s very fair, your honor —the husband said—. And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.
Chistes de aquí y de allá
—Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully —the divorce Court Judge said—, and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.
—That’s very fair, your honor —the husband said—. And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.
—Veo que hoy tose usted mejor.
—Sí, doctor, es que he estado toda la noche entrenándome.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,
—Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?
The agent replies,
—Just a minute.
—Thank you—, the blonde says, and hangs up.
Hoy se me cayó internet y tuve que pasar el tiempo con mi familia. Parecen buena gente.
—Doctor, tengo molestias en los gitanales.
—¿En los gitanales? Querrá usted decir en los genitales.
—No sé, doctor, como yo los veo morenos y con el pelo rizado…
—Hola, amor, ¿dónde estás?
—En casa, acostadito y pensando en ti. ¿Y tú?
—En la discoteca, viendo cómo corriste hacia el baño para contestarme.

—Lo siento, le queda poco tiempo de vida, tendrá usted que dejar el alcohol, el tabaco y el sexo.
—¿Y así viviré más, doctor?
—No, pero se le harán los días más largos.
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.
—What do you think? —I asked —. Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?
—Better get a bikini, —he replied—. You’d never get it all in one.
He’s still in intensive care.