Categoría: Humor

Chistes de aquí y de allá

[Hum}– Todo es relativo

Al final de la tarde, un ginecólogo esperaba a su última paciente, que no llegó. Después de media hora de espera, supuso que ya no vendría y decidió tomarse un gin-tonic para relajarse antes de volver a casa.

Se instaló confortablemente en una poltrona, empezó a leer un periódico y, de pronto, sonó el timbre de la puerta: era la paciente que llega, toda sofocada, y pidió disculpas por el retraso.

—No tiene importancia—, le dijo el médico—. Yo estaba tomando un gin-tonic mientras la esperaba. ¿Quiere usted uno para relajarse un poco?

—Acepto con gusto—, respondió la paciente, aliviada.

El médico le sirvió el trago, se sentó frente a ella y comenzaron a conversar sobre temas banales.

De repente se oyó un ruido de llaves en la puerta del consultorio. El médico, sobresaltado, se levantó bruscamente y exclamó:

—¡Mi mujeeeeer! ¡Rápido, quítese la ropa y abra las piernas!

Moraleja: Einstein tenía razón: en la vida ¡todo es relativo!

[Hum}– Fifty years wedding anniversary

A couple was celebrating 50 years together.  Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
—Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. —gushed son number one. —Sorry I’m running late.  I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient. You know how it is, and I didn’t have time to get you a gift.

—Not to worry —said the father—. The important thing is that we’re all together today.

Son number two arrived and announced,

—You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you.

—It’s nothing, — said the father—. We’re glad you were able to come.

Just then the daughter arrived. 

—Hello and happy anniversary! I’m sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn’t have time to get you anything.
After they had finished dessert, the father said, 

—There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time.  You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college.  Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.
The three children gasped and all said,

—You mean we’re bastards!?

—Yep, — said the father —. And cheap ones too.

Courtesy of Bob Meehan