Categoría: Humor

Chistes de aquí y de allá

[Hum}– Lawyer and wife

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about,

—What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it.

And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

—They’re not hanging Wright tonight—, she said.

He whirled around and screamed,

—FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?!

[Hum}– BROMENSERIO: Jaleo en el cuartel

En el cuartel de El Goloso, en la Brunete, el sargento primero está organizando al nuevo reemplazo de tropa profesional, y ordena:

—Gallegos, asturianos, cántabros, vascos,. ¡ahí, a la derecha!
—Aragoneses, catalanes, valencianos, baleares, ¡a la izquierda!
—Navarros, riojanos y castellanos, ¡en la parte de delante!
—Extremeños, andaluces, murcianos y canarios, ¡ahí detrás!

Y enseguida se organizó un gran desbarajuste. Cuando parecía que el jaleo había terminado, quedaron en medio del patio del cuartel tres chinos, un ecuatoriano, dos colombianos y cinco magrebíes.

Uno de ellos levantó la mano y preguntó al sargento primero:
—Mi sargento, ¿y nosotros, los españoles, dónde nos ponemos?

Cortesía de Eleuterio Sicilia