Etiqueta: jokes

[Hum}– What do they really mean?

PCMCIA – People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN – It Still Does Nothing

APPLE – Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI System – Still Can’t See It

DOS – Defective Operating System

BASIC – Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM – I Blame Microsoft

DEC – Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM – Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 – Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW – World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH – Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM – Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of

Mathematics

COBOL – Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA – A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP – Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MIPS – Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS – Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

GIRO – Garbage In Rubbish Out

MICROSOFT – Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

[Hum}– Sweet wife

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice. 

—What do you think? —I asked —. Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?

—Better get a bikini, —he replied—. You’d never get it all in one.

He’s still in intensive care.

[Hum}– Anagrams

PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

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ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

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DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

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THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

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GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

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THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

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DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:  DIRTY ROOM

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SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

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ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

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ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters: LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

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SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z’S

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A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters: I’M A DOT IN PLACE

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THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters:  THAT QUEER SHAKE

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ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters:  TWELVE PLUS ONE

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AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE

MOTHER-IN-LAW.
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER